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  #1  
Old 10-09-2005, 10:08 PM
Lanilion Lanilion is offline
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Default I love blonde jokes...

Two blondes were filling up at a gas station when the first one said to
the
other, "I bet these awful gas prices are going even higher!"


The second blonde replies, "Won't affect me. I always buy exactly $10
worth!
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  #2  
Old 10-10-2005, 02:07 PM
BlackPlague BlackPlague is offline
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Default Re: I love blonde jokes...

10 blondes and a red hair girls were hanging onto a rope between planes there was to much wieght on it so the red hair said she will let go but she wanted to tell her life story . After she told her story all the blondes started clapping problem solved=)
  #3  
Old 10-12-2005, 12:23 AM
Lacrosse_Freak Lacrosse_Freak is offline
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Default Re: I love blonde jokes...

A blonde and a brunette are sitting in a cafe one day having breakfast. They both are eating, and suddenly the brunette becomes aware that the blonde keeps getting a funny look on her face. So she asks the blonde "Is there something wrong with breakfast?" To which the blonde replies "yes, this coffee really hurts my eyes, everytime i take a drink, there is this sharp pain in my eye!" The brunette shakes her head and says "Well then take the spoon out of the cup!"
  #4  
Old 10-12-2005, 01:41 PM
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Default Re: I love blonde jokes...

Q: how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?


A: Wave. :P
  #5  
Old 10-12-2005, 01:43 PM
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Default Re: I love blonde jokes...

How can you tell that a blonde has been using the computer?




There is Wite-out on the screen
  #6  
Old 10-12-2005, 04:32 PM
Lanilion Lanilion is offline
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Default Re: I love blonde jokes...

haha...totally making my life!

Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?


She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
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  #7  
Old 10-12-2005, 05:37 PM
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Flame Flame is offline
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Default Re: I love blonde jokes...

How did the blond explain how his helicopter crashed?
He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.


----------------------------------------------------------

There were two blondes walking down the street and they spotted a compact.
They rushed over to see who it belonged to so they could return it. The
first one opens it and says, "This person looks familiar" The second one
says, "Let me see." She looks at her friend and says, "Silly, that's me!"

----------------------------------------------------------

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

-----------------------------------------------------------

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
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  #8  
Old 10-12-2005, 07:59 PM
silent silent is offline
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Default Re: I love blonde jokes...

ROFLMFAO @ Thal's jokes...hahahhahahahhahhahah
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  #9  
Old 10-12-2005, 08:15 PM
silent silent is offline
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Default Re: I love blonde jokes...

1.Q: Why is a blonde like a hardware store?
A: They are both 10? a screw!

2.Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money

3.Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

4.An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna" again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.

The blonde opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife... "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "he makes his own lunch."

5.Three women are about to be executed.

One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did.

The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

6.Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde."

"She'll read it very slowly."
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  #10  
Old 10-12-2005, 09:01 PM
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Default Re: I love blonde jokes...

That last one was a good one.
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